WE CAN BE HEROES
Every World Cup produces cult heroes, icons who make it possible for us to sit back and start misty-eyed recollections by saying: “Do you remember Roger Milla/Saeed Al-Owairan/Keisuke Honda/Paul the Octopus?” Well, the Geopolitics World Cup has not let us down! Here are 10 cult heroes who’ve emerged from this tournament.
Yaya Sithole: a catastrophic start as the South Africa midfielder’s error led to the first goal of the GWC against Mexico, compounded by a second-half red card. Bounced back with a vital display in the win over South Korea, leading his country to the knockout round. Decades from now, people will still be talking about the Yaya Sithole redemption arc. Possibly.
Vozinha: who else? Cape Verde’s players all became cult heroes, but especially the 40-year-old keeper who spent last season in the Portuguese second tier and this summer keeping out Spain as the Blue Sharks went unbeaten in the group stage, then pushed Argentina to extra time in the last 32. Vozinha’s mum: get in line – we’re all in his fan club now.
Djed Spence: a toss-up with Dan “the modern-day header-beast” Burn for England’s cult hero, but let’s give it to the Spurs full-back who transformed from the hapless scourge of Thomas Tuchel’s existence in the group stage to a chin-strapped Cafu in the knockout round. Spence’s slide tackle on Giuliano Simeone (albeit sans chin-strap) will live long in the memory.
Matías Galarza: Paraguay’s most magnificent git was always involved despite rarely trying to play football. Almost every time we saw the midfielder he was moaning, playacting, needling opponents – truly putting the “art” into the dark arts. Also scored against Turkey and later nicked the referee’s watch and strapped it to his own wrist. Timeless ’housery.
Keyne: poor Lamine Yamal, who turned a craggy 19 during the GWC, must be feeling pretty aged considering he’s been usurped by his three-year-old brother. Keyne gurning and giggling in the crowd has delighted fans in Spain and beyond. Considering some of the other people who’ve hogged TV cutaways, the toddler has been a welcome sight.
Iván Barton: Salvadorian referee grabbed the globe’s attention when he sent off Miguel Almirón, bawling at the winger like a mum sending a misbehaving youngster to bed with no dinner. “After review, No 10, Paraguay, covered his mouth! The decision is red card!” No PlayStation either, Miguel!
Eloy Room: move over, Vozinha, and make room for Eloy! Yep, another veteran goalie starred at this GWC as Curaçao bounced back from shipping seven (7) against Germany to hold Ecuador to a 0-0 draw. The 37-year-old Room made 15 saves – a record for a 90-minute World Cup match – to earn the tiny Caribbean island their first ever point.
Danny Murphy: or should it be Bob the cat? The deadpan BBC pundit’s tale of how a family moggy once made a break for freedom inside a Royal Mail van – sparked by Oscar Bobb coming off the bench for Norway – proved so engrossing that viewers demanded, and got, several follow-ups. A purr-fect hydration-break diversion. Honk!
Hossam Hassan: Egypt’s perma-angry, black T-shirted head coach was an intimidating presence – especially paired with his identical twin brother, the team director, Ibrahim Hassan. The pair had a row with Dallas police, led the Pharaohs to the last 16, saw Egypt take a 2-0 lead against Argentina … before the final 15 minutes helped Hossam reach new heights of apoplexy.
Romelu Lukaku: how can Belgium’s record goalscorer be obscure enough for cult-hero status? Well, when you polish off USA USA USA 4-1 and celebrate your 93rd international goal with a Trump dance near the corner flag in the aftermath of Balogungate. Thanks, Big Rom (Bigliest Rom?) – the planet is with you.
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE
Join Rob Smyth from 8pm BST (3pm EST, 5am AEST) for hot updates from Spain 1-1 Argentina (aet; 4-5 on pens) in the GWC final. The animals below agree, though the punters in New York City disagree. Meanwhile Tom Lutz will be in situ for another liveblog mopping up all other business outside the game, which we’re tempted to call Everything But The Goal.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“This game will help us for sure – even if you can never fully celebrate a bronze medal. It’s the first [men’s World Cup] medal for 60 years, first [at a men’s] World Cup on foreign soil, and I hope the players can be proud of that at some point. We set ourselves the highest dream to chase, and we were very, very ambitious with our dream to make the final in the World Cup. So it’s very, very painful if you miss out, the pain will stay for a while” – England head coach Thomas Tuchel after overseeing a quite preposterous 6-4 win over France in the Third Place Play-off.
May I be one of the 1,057 pedants to point out that it’s little wonder Brazil lost to Poland in the 1970 TPPO (yesterday’s Football Daily) as they would have been resting players for the next day’s final against Italy (which they won 4-1 to claim their third world crown – Pelé, Carlos Alberto and all that). You must have meant the 1974 TPPO. Easy to be fatigued at this stage of the tournament; just ask Harry Kane” – Jonathan Westwood (and 1,056 others).
If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day goes to … Jonathan Westwood (and the 1,056 others). Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here.
Leave a Reply