Key events
Email! “This walking-paced, season-leggy tournament feels like Fifa’s version of a methadone clinic offered to ensure that revenues don’t dip during summer’s withdrawal season,” reckons Justin Kavanagh. “It’s on TV here in the USA, but to be honest, no slo-mo circus is going to distract from the pall of totalitarianism that is descending over this country. No amount of laughing gas is going to trump the sting of tear gas. Infantino shouldn’t be whoring out his circus here. Same goes for his World Cup next year.”
Bread and circuses, without the bread.
As for LA, I’m looking forward to seeing Denis Bouanga, their undoubted star man. He may, though, find it difficult against Reece James, a player with all the potential to become the best right-back in the world – if injury leaves him in peace. There’ve been lost of debates in England about whether the national side should deploy Trent Alexander-Arnold or Kyle Walker in that position, but the correct answer is, in fact, neither.
Talking of Chelsea – pick that segue out – they’re more or less as expected. But Roméo Lavia plays, not Enzo Fernandez, and it’s Nicolas Jackson not Liam Delap.
Subs benches longer than starting XIs. I can’t help but think the best way to level the footballing playing field would be fewer, not more, because then clubs wouldn’t be able to stockpile players.
I take some of it back: LAFC have not supplied shirt numbers.
I’m going to write these teams down, then we’ll think about what we might see.
First things first: hold tight LAFC for presenting their team on social media in formation form.
Yes I have seen Beyoncé twice, now that you ask. I can’t say I was totally ready to see Europa League signage at Spurs, but needs must.
Teams!
Chelsea (4-2-3-1): Sanchez; James, Tosin, Colwill, Cucurella; Lavia, Caicedo; Neto, Palmer, Madueke; Jackson. Subs: Jorgensen, Acheampong, Gusto, Chalobah, Badiashile, Sarr, Anselmino, Essugo, Fernandez, Santos, Dewsbury-Hall, George, Nkunku, Delap, Guiu.
LAFC (4-3-3): Lloris; Palencia, Long, Segura, Hollingshead; Tillman, Jesus, Delgado; Ordaz, Ebobisse, Bouanga. Subs: Ochoa, Hasal, Chanot, Tafari, Marlon, Saldaña, Raposo, Dilrosun, Amaya, Holm, Yeboah, Wibowo, Martínez, Giroud.
Preamble
It’s hard to know what to feel here, isn’t it? On the one hand, a confected competition, staged for impure reasons, by men of questionable character, in a country undergoing a fascist takeover, skewing domestic competitive balance yet further, while players trudge through yet more games; on the other hand, FOOTBALL.
LAFC did not qualify for this competition automatically, by winning the Concacaf Champions League; rather, they won a play-in after León, former Concacaf Champions League winners, were disqualified for infringing club ownership structure rules. But here they are so here we are, the fifth-best side in the Western Conference, we’ll never sing that.
Facing them we have none other than the reigning Conference League champions – who, in fairness, did actually win the Champions League to make it into this tournament. And Chelsea are, in various ways, a prime example of the vain, venal, narcissistic decadence it represents … but how exciting might it be if, suddenly, they click?
Kick-off: 3pm local, 8pm BST
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