APOCALYPSE CIAO!
Watching 10-man Italy blow their last chance to qualify for this summer’s Geopolitics World Cup, Football Daily couldn’t help but remember the schoolmasterly ticking-off with which the legendary commentator Barry Davies admonished a similarly depleted team of their predecessors 24 years ago. That particular iteration of Italy had at least made it to the summer jamboree, but upon seeing them being dumped out in the last 16 by co-hosts South Korea at Daejeon World Cup Stadium, Davies said what the rest of us were thinking: “And the Italians are out because they never learn,” he clucked. Of course, it could also be argued the Italians were out because they were the victims of what could charitably described as a series of farcical refereeing decisions, but their natural inclination towards extreme caution certainly didn’t help.
Italy’s once comical (and often successful) over-reliance on Catenaccio was all too evident in Zenica on Tuesday night after Rino Gattuso’s team went a goal up and a man down against a Bosnia and Herzegovina side who equalised with 11 minutes of normal time remaining before claiming their place at the GWC through spot-kicks. Having been spotted celebrating their hosts’ penalty shootout win over Wales last week, assorted members of the Italy squad could be seen crying salty tears when Esmir Bajraktarevic beat Gianluigi Donnarumma from 12 yards, preventing the four-times winners from making it to the World Cup for the third time on the bounce. While Italy squandered at least one excellent chance to double their lead before losing Alessandro Bastoni to a red card, Bosnia and Herzegovina ran out more than worthy winners and, as is customary, the Italian press greeted their team’s failure with the kind of calm and measured criticism we’ve come to expect.
“VIA TUTTI!” (Everyone out!) screamed Tuttosport’s front page headline over a photo of a bereft Francesco Esposito lying prone on the turf with head in hands. It set the tone for a series of furiously gesticulatory media-wide polemics through which words like “disaster”, “consequences”, “humiliation”, “apocalypse” and “nightmare” were liberally sprinkled. “The boys didn’t deserve this beating for their performance, their commitment, their love,” moped Gattuso, Italy’s soon-to-be former head coach. “We had three chances to score. It’s a shame, that’s football. I’m proud of my boys. It hurts because this World Cup was important for us, for our families, for all of Italy, and for our movement. It’s a hard blow for everyone to swallow.”
As Italians everywhere cried into their Negronis, the mood could scarcely have been more upbeat in Bosnia, where not for the first time in recent months, Edin Dzeko posted Social Media Disgrace footage of himself leading a late-night/early morning sing-song. While the veteran striker’s age is unlikely to prevent him making an impact at this summer’s GWC, Football Daily can’t help but feel that at 40 years old, it’s probably time Dzeko stopped hanging around Sarajevo nightclubs. Like your increasingly uncool Football Daily, it’s time he learned.
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE
Join Yara El-Shaboury at 5.45pm for Women’s Bigger Cup quarter-final updates on Bayern Munich 2-0 Manchester United (5-2 agg), while Will Unwin will be on hand at 8pm for Chelsea 1-0 Arsenal (2-3 agg).
QUOTE OF THE DAY
It’s the best night of my life and I’ve had some wonderful nights, you know, stories with Östersund and European adventures and [Bigger Cup], Premier League wins, but this just feels like more. You can feel the atmosphere in the ground. It’s very rarely you go to football places and feel that. I think when you’re a national team … you’re working for more than yourself, so when you add all that up and then put the context of the game and the environment and the atmosphere, it was just a special moment” – he’s not had the easiest couple of years so Graham Potter was careful to make sure he fully enjoyed basking in the glow of success after Sweden’s thrilling 3-2 GWC playoff win over Poland.
The game against Japan showed how useless England are. The unrealistic expectations are unbelievable!!!” – Jeff Sax.
Not sure Fifa suit Arsène Wenger’s suggestion that daylight must be between the attacker and defender (yesterday’s Football Daily Off Course section) is going to be helpful resolving offside decisions in all situations. What about evening matches? Will refs have to carry torches now, or perhaps one of those seasonal affective disorder light panels? Or is VAR planning to utilise pitch-side laser beam daylight analysis, which is likely to further increase decision deliberations to their existing infinite Matrix Time ponderings? And which might lead to possible permanent blindness for those persistently diving forwards who roll around on the ground just a little too long to avoid Fifa-sanctioned laser-frazzled retinas. Although granted some free laser-eye surgery might benefit one or two number nines I can think of. And what about those 5.30pm kick-off twilight zone offsides? Blimey. Thanks, Arsène” – Steve Malone
Thank you for the story on how Vindaloo was created – I must admit, I hadn’t realised the connection with Vindaloo and Waterloo, but it is very clever. Scotland’s Colourbox’s fantastic Official Colourbox World Cup Theme from ‘86 immediately came to mind as well for this category. Famous for being rejected by both BBC and ITV, I first heard it on a 4AD compilation album, and I can’t wait to blast it out in June! It just needs Alan Partridge previewing the tournament with this soundtrack” – Tom Pratt.
Being one of the authors of Monday’s ‘four superb letters’, I would like to announce that being inducted into Andy Morrison’s fanclub is better than a prizeless letter o’ the day, which I have won a few times!” – Nigel Sanders.
When Brighton visit Spurs on 18 April, will it be called Ze Derbi?” – Phil Taverner.
If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day is … Phil Taverner. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Get your ears around the latest Football Weekly episode as the pod squad discuss the latest Italian World Cup flop.
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THIS IS ENGLAND
After the positivity that surrounded England when Thomas Tuchel guided them to the GWC with eight wins from eight, 22 goals scored and none conceded, it’s felt almost comforting for the boos, hand-wringing, and unease to return after a 1-1 draw with Uruguay and 1-0 loss to Japan. Welcome back England, we’ve missed you! It wouldn’t be a major tournament if they were heading out of Wembley followed by cheers instead of jeers, now would it? Before the Euros, England lost 1-0 to Iceland. Booooooooo! But that didn’t stop them getting to the final did it? They still have two warmup games to come, against New Zealand somewhere in Florida, and then Costa Rica at a venue yet to be decided. We’re going to take a wild guess, that they probably won’t lose those, mainly because half the squad won’t have pulled out with unspecified knack to please their domestic overlords. And in any case, we all know that Japan are going to win the GWC. There’s no shame in losing to the Samurai Blue.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Lamine Yamal has criticised chants by Spain fans during a friendly against Egypt in Barcelona that police are investigating for Islamophobia and xenophobia. “As a Muslim it is a lack of respect and something intolerable,” he said. “To those who sing these things: using a religion as a form of mockery on a pitch shows you up as ignorant and racist.”
Turkey will be at the big GWC party after their 1-0 win over Kosovo, Czech Republic beat Denmark on penalties to book their place at the shindig and DRC Congo and Iraq shall go to the ball, too. The full list of the 48 teams who have qualified is here.
Fifa head honcho Gianni Infantino claims Iran “will be at the World Cup” despite the conflict with the United States.
The Tottenham Hotspur Supporters’ Trust has strongly criticised the appointment of Roberto De Zerbi as head coach, expressing “serious and far-reaching concerns” over his past support for Mason Greenwood.
Chelsea have set a new record by announcing the biggest pre-tax loss in Premier League history of £262m. Someone give them a trophy!
In more financial news (wait, come back!), Manchester United’s wage bill was about half that of WSL rivals Arsenal’s last season, their latest accounts have revealed.
And Jermain Defoe roared that the “the main objective is to get promoted” to the Football League after he was unveiled as Woking’s new manager. “There are some top players here,” he added. “I believe that me and my coaching staff can go to the next level.”
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STILL WANT MORE?
England ended their so-called “send-off series” before the Geopolitics World Cup with a defeat against Japan. Barney Ronay was at Wembley to lament a side who must know their limits. Jacob Steinberg analyses who has a plane ticket to North America this summer and his player ratings included lowly 4s for Ben White, Kobbie Mainoo, Cole Palmer, Phil Foden and Anthony Gordon. Yikes!
It was a good night for Sweden, of course. Jonathan Wilson was at the Strawberry Arena and writes about Graham Potter’s journey from rock bottom to redemption.
The Caf chief suit, Patrice Motsepe, is facing the toughest period of his reign after the Afcon final fiasco and Wafcon cancellation. Osasu Obayiuwana reports from Cairo.
The Socceroos will be flamin’ nervous after Turkey’s qualification last night, writes Jack Snape, with Group D – which also contains the USA USA USA and Paraguay – now emerging as arguably the tournament’s most difficult pool to call.
Roberto De Zerbi to Tottenham, then. Brighton fans have fond memories of the Italian, who rivals hailed as a genius, but his time on the south coast went sour. Ed Aarons ponders whether he is the right fit for Spurs.
And has a club ever won the title with a better goal difference than points tally? The Knowledge knows.
MEMORY LANE
Here’s Dickie Davies presenting World of Sport in August 1968. Without the tache. No, it’s not right, is it? As for those two beatniks at the back sitting on the vidiprinter … get up and do some work! This isn’t the Scotch of St James!
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